Why jokes

Parent

  • What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

    The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

    The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

    Thanks for reading this...bye!

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    Sentence

  • One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”

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  • Woman

  • A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.

    The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?

    Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!

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    Santa Claus

  • One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.

    Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"

    "Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"

    "I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."

    Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."

    Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."

    Santa: "Done!"

    Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."

    Santa: "Done!"

    Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"

    Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."

    Man: "Okay. Let's do it."

    So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.

    After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"

    Man: "I am 35 years old."

    Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"

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    Bee

  • Bee Jokes:

    "Hello."

    "Oh, hello, Buzzy!"

    "Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"

    "Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)

    "It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"

    "Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)

    "Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"

    "No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)

    "Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."

    "Fan?"

    "Yes, your worst fan!"

    "No! Fan!"

    "What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"

    "Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)

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  • Robot

  • A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.

    The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.

    "New around here?" said the bartender.

    "Nah, been here a while," said the robot.

    Bartender "You can talk?"

    Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."

    Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"

    Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"

    The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.

    The robot seems to be just like a normal human.

    "Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.

    "The top minds in the world," said the robot.

    The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."

    Bartender, "What?"

    "Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"

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    Zoo

  • Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.

    Kid: Why?

    Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.

    Sister

  • I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

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    Dome

  • Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?

    A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.

    Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?

    A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.

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    White people

  • Why do white people colonize everything?

    To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

    Bible

  • Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.

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