Why jokes
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why don't orphans play football?
They can't find home.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because he wanted to. :) :) :)
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”