Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Why Jokes
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
