Why jokes
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Memes
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife is dead.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!