Why jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
Memes
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
Why did my dad leave me?
Because I was gay.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.