Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
Why Jokes
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.
Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wrongs don’t make a white.
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pepperoni pizza?
Because they got plane.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're never wanted.
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
