Why jokes
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Memes
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet all the koalifications!
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Why did my dad leave me?
Because I was gay.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.