Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.