Why jokes
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
I should test my eyes
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary on stage?
To DEFINE his rap game!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road? Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"