Why jokes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.