Why jokes
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
Why are we here?
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know what home is.
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
Why are midgets constantly thirsty?
They can't reach the drinking fountains.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.