Why jokes
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Coz she had no arms, bants!
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.