Why jokes
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.