Why jokes
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?
Because he's always spotted.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?