Why jokes
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
Why is Jack so gay?
Because he is.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?
They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.