Why jokes
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why are gay people gay? Because they are gay.
Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
Why do Lebanese go to school? Tabouli!
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)