One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
