Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
Why was the booty so good at poker?
Because it always had a good PAIR.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why was the booty so good at math?
It knew all the ANGLES.