Whos jokes

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

C is for Clara who wasted away.

D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

G is for George smothered under a rug.

H is for Hector done in by a thug.

I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

J is for James who took lye by mistake.

K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

N is for Neville who died of ennui.

O is for Olive run through with an awl.

P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

S is for Susan who perished of fits.

T is for Titus who flew into bits.

U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

V is for Victor squashed under a train.

W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?

They both thank you for your financial support.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?

Hangman.

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?