Whos jokes
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
Memes
who wouldnt?
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?