New Whos Jokes - Page 22 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?

A wheel dealer.

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.

Seek: Why do I have to be it?

Figure: Because your name says so.

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?

"Jit was lagging."

What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Mary."

"Mary who?"

"Marry me!"

There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...

...Steve Kerr’s team.

Who even needs white jokes?

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"