Whos jokes
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
@everyone.. what's so funny is that JIT thinks he's so "cool" and that everyone is "amazed" about him hating on people who is wayyy above him on the roster.
The pathetic part is that he hates on everyone else's family and relationships when 100% of us have a WAYY better one than he will ever deserve. He was born pathetic, and will die pathetic. So JIT, please tell me what it's like to be such a coward?
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.