Wheres jokes

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

Where did the chef put the disease?

In Ebola.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

Peaches-REMAKE-By-Justin Beiber and watersharky Music Productions-

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

And I see you (oh), the way I breathe you in (in), it's the texture of your skin

I wanna wrap my arms around you, baby, never let you go, oh

And I say, oh, there's nothing like your touch

It's the way you lift me up, yeah

And I'll be right here with you 'til the end

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

You ain't sure yet, but I'm for ya

All I could want, all I can wish for

Nights alone that we miss more

And days we save as souvenirs

There's no time, I wanna make more time

And give you my whole life

I left my girl, I'm in Mallorca

Hate to leave her, call it torture

Remember when I couldn't hold her

Left her baggage for Rimowa

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

I get the feeling, so I'm sure (sure)

Hand in my hand because I'm yours

I can't, I can't pretend, I can't ignore you're right for me

Don't think you wanna know just where I've been, oh

Done being distracted

The one I need is right in my arms (oh)

Your kisses taste the sweetest with mine

And I'll be right here with you 'til end of time

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

(I get my light right from the source, yeah, yeah)

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it).

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Bully: Who you looking at?

Me: A Build-A-Bear.

Bully: Where?

Me: Look in the mirror.

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?

"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."

Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."