When jokes
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
Okay, when I leave for ONE DAY something happens like people being sexist and men saying that women are weak (Which is Not True), AND rape. I hate hearing and really saying the word. Just stop with all this nonsense. I say rape and sexist and woman assault jokes should not be allowed. They are too cruel and mean to women. Most men are weaker than women. So don't anyone make anymore things or "jokes" about rape. Women are strong and don't be mean to them.
Sincerely, watersharky (How did I not misspell????)
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*