When jokes

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?

A gas grenade.

What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.

Orphans have it lucky.

When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?

Panera said.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

"Happynese" (happy knees).

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.