When jokes
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
Yo mama is so fat.
When the 🌞 retired, she was eligible to take its place.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?
Because they were using the computer and thought about it.
The streets go blank in the dead of the day, not a car to be seen.
A kingdom of corona-cation, and it looks like mom's the queen.
The wind is howling with this virus in the air.
Couldn't keep it in China, everyone knows it's everywhere.
Don't let friends in, don't be afraid.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel your insanity, that the virus caused!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors!
I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friend's house.
Sickness doesn't get to me anyway.
It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane, and the fears that once controlled me are here and present, oh well!
It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through!
No right, no wrong, but stay inside!
WE'RE NOT FREE!!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! 'Cause I have nothing better to do.
The virus flurries through the air into my house!
The storm is spiraling, fear and fractals all around!!
And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!!
What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past????
DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.