When jokes
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.
Twin Towers are on fire.
The terrorist has a streak of two.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
Orphans have it lucky.
When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."
When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.
Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.