When jokes
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
When you're lonely, watch a scary movie. You won’t feel lonely anymore!