When jokes
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.