When jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.