When jokes
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?
When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.