When jokes
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Yo mama so ugly that when she looked at the sun, it exploded.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?
Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
"Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"
When you still there?
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
(Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why I made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!