When jokes

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood đŸ©ž when punched.

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."

The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”

  • 4

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.

  • 2

    • My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

    When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

  • 2

    • Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.

    Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.

    Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.

    A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

    Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

    Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

    Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

    I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

    I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

    He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

    "Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

  • 1

    • When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

    My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3

    If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.

    -THE END-

    This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. đŸș🐼