When jokes

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Leaf

  • What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁

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    Mom

  • Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

    Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

    Saw that shit on Roblox.

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    Self Harm

  • My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

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  • People

  • I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

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  • Titanic

  • What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

    Titanic!

    Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

    What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

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    Fight

  • We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

    1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

    2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

    3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

    Orphan

  • When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

    Me: You f&*k up.

    The class: Oh sh!&

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    Dream

  • Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

    Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

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