When jokes
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
Yo momma so ugly when she the and ugly weird the and she ugly!
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
what do you call it when you get married in Panera Bread?
Panera Wed.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.