When jokes
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.
I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I think broken heart's contagious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost then I'm found. But it's torture bein' in love. I love when you're around. But I f**kin' hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.