Wheelchair jokes

Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.

Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.

The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.

Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?

'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.

Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.

Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"

That's wheely (really) sad.

People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.

What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.

What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?

A broken wheelchair.

Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

I told this man to rev his vehicle.

Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.