Wheelchair jokes
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to his fridge but get nothing out?
It was a dummy run.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because there was only a stairway to heaven and no lifts.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite music?
Rock and roll.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite car?
Rolls Royce.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
Penis.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.