Wheelchair jokes

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?

A: Right where you left 'em.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked. "I'm a Paralympian," he replied. "Boxing?" "No, ... hurdles."

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.

When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.

Teacher: Take a seat, class.

Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.

What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?

A steamed vegetable.