Wheelchair jokes
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭