Whats jokes

A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.

The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.

"New around here?" said the bartender.

"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.

Bartender "You can talk?"

Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."

Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"

Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"

The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.

The robot seems to be just like a normal human.

"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.

"The top minds in the world," said the robot.

The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."

Bartender, "What?"

"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"

What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them.

What do you call a Muslim and an Arab in a plane?

Pilots, you racist fuckers!

What do you call a terrorist that can fly?

A dart.

What do you call a hung autist...

Dead.

"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?

What do you call an emo dating another emo?

The suicide duo.

What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?

Cancer!

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?

What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?

A pedophile.

What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?

A dildo.

Two wind turbines are standing in a field.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?

Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.

When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?

European.

What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?

Pokemon!

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.