Whats jokes
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
… A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.