Whats jokes
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!