Whats jokes

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?

A cutting board.

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"

What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?

"Jenga!"

What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?

"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.