Whats jokes

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"Drop it like it's HOT!"

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

He can’t walkie or talkie.

What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.

What is a terrorist's first move in chess?

C4.

What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

What happens when you have dry elbows at work?

You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.

At what point does a joke become a dad joke?

When it disappears and never returns home.

What is the shortest month of the year?

May, it only has 3 letters!

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?

Wet noses.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”