Whats jokes
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
This joke is so bad I don't even know what I wrote at this point.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
What did the DJ name his son?
Eric.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
MC Squared.
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."