What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
Whats Jokes
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing, she was hung over.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What is the darkest month?
Black History Month.
What’s the difference between Mexicans and stoners?
Stoners have papers.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
