Whats jokes
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
What is an orphan's favorite TV show?
"Alone."
What did the coal say to the charcoal?
You look pretty coal! 🤣
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!