Whats jokes

Dad: How was your trip to the park?

Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

Dad: Oh God, what next?

Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?

His ears.

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

What do you call an octopus with a hat?

An octopus with a hat, of course.

What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?

A bath bomb.

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

What’s the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

McDonald's has a drive through. Twin Towers has a fly through.

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.

What flour do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising.

What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.

What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?

"Spider-Man: No Way Home."

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.

What's long and black? Centrelink line.

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”