Whats jokes

What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?

Walking.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?

Getting the water bill.

What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?

"Orange is the new black."

What if little Johnny was doing drugs?

"Johnny, Johnny?"

"Yes, Papa?"

"Eating sugar?"

"No, Papa..."

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

What is a redneck virgin?

A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."

What did the dog say to the other dog?

What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?

The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

Q: What do you call a sad soda?

A: Soda-pressing.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

Question: What is the difference between a morbid joke and a dark joke?

Answer: One is 10 babies in a trash can; the other is a baby in 10 trash cans.

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?

A: Loli-pops.