Whats jokes
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? "Stop it! It hertz so much!"
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather? A brrrrrrrr-d!
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.