Whats jokes
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.