Whats jokes
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi/Nattzee.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.