Whats jokes
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.