Whats jokes
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Memes
Sadly 😢
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
What do cows call money?
Moola.