Whats jokes
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.