Whats jokes
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
Memes
2020:
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture frame.
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
What do you call a Black person flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist!
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
What is the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.