Whats jokes
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Memes
shrek has a potato for a nose
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What animal is good at baseball?
A bat!
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."