Whats jokes
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba na na na.
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
Memes
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.