Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Whats Jokes
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
