Whats jokes
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
What's black and white?
History.
Memes
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?