Whats jokes
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
Memes
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.