Whats jokes
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What is a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.