Whats jokes
What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?
The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
What is the address?
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
What do you call a shedding Panera Bread?
Panera Shed.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.