Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
Whats Jokes
What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
Quack!
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? (comment below)
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
What is the difference between a human and a can?
A human can walk and a can cannot walk.
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?
One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idea. 😂
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
What’s better than the best thing ever?
Me being mod.
What is the difference between the human rights act and the rights of the earth?
Human and the earth earth is a good earth 🌎 was that what time do for dinner 🍽 night night love 💗 night night fun day and dinner 🍴 night night fun day home 🏡 night is it a great 👍 home 🏡 was the day I love 💕
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.